My Water Birth
Giving birth was wild, messy, painful, overwhelming, and nothing close to anything I’ve ever experienced.
I had a particular vision of what childbirth would look like - I wanted to give birth in a tub of magnesium water with candles and diffusers lit in a dimmed room and soft music playing in the background.
It seemed simple and easy to me, but preparing for how the pain would feel during contractions or pushing the baby out - I don’t think I could have been 100% prepared for one of the most empowering experiences of my life.
I first learned I was pregnant while living and working in New York. Initially, I thought of giving birth there but later realized I wanted my family's support at home, so I flew back to Seattle in my third trimester.
Giving birth at a hospital never crossed my mind. For me, thinking of experiencing something so intimate and life-changing at a hospital didn't sound appealing, even if the labor room had a tub and shower. I wanted something home-like, and naturally, I didn't want any medications. I explored the home birth option and would have gone for it, but since I stayed at my parents' home, they didn't support the set-up. So the next best option was a birth center.
I researched birth centers in my area and fell in love with the Center for Birth, which is a free-standing facility in the South Lake Union area of Seattle. Luckily for me, the midwifery practice I chose also held their naturopathic pediatric practice in the same building, so all of my pregnancy check-ups, the actual birth, and postpartum visits happened under one roof. I toured three different suites in my initial visit, each with a queen bed, jacuzzi tub, living area space, and bathroom. It was like walking into a master bedroom! It felt home-y with the different wall and room decorations in each suite. I also loved the option for natural lighting from the windows facing the lake and the dim lighting in the room. I knew instantly that I made a perfect choice in choosing the right environment for my water birth experience.
My water birth was a vision that became a reality, a dream that came true. Baby Milana arrived on a day I didn’t expect and unfolded in a way that went beyond what I could only imagine. It was an experience I'd relive again just to turn back time and see my baby girl as a newborn (the newborn stages were awfully hard, yet some of the most precious moments ever).
How I Prepared For My Water Birth
Bone broth (one or more bowls a day!)
Dates
Red raspberry leaf tea
Taking childbirth classes
Prenatal massages
Hiring a doula
Seeing a chiropractor
Exercise
Miles Circuit
Watching videos/documentaries
Membrane sweeps
Labor tincture
Praying, writing, and visualizing my birth plan
I would have also gone to see an acupuncturist if I had the time to search for one specializing in women’s reproductive health. I found a great one for postpartum care and highly recommend it for maintaining and increasing milk supply! (More for another post on this experience later.)
Bone Broth
I regularly made bone broth during my pregnancy and especially focused on adding specific ingredients closer to my due date, such as Chinese dates. I often made chicken broth and sometimes beef, using only pasture-raised chicken and grass-fed and grass-finished beef. Learning from my family growing up in a traditional Chinese household, I knew how vital consuming bone broth was to replenish nutrients, nourish the body, improve iron levels and fertility health. During my periods, my parents would make sure to provide extra broth. With baby Milana taking all of my nutrients, it was even more important to stick to more than one bowl of bone broth a day.
Dates
Chinese dates, or jujubes are a key ingredient in a lot of soups I grew up drinking. I often added Chinese dates to my bone broth, which can be found online like Amazon or in herbal shops in Chinatown if you’d like to take the scenic route. It sweetens the soup, gives another dimension of flavor, and is extremely nourishing.
Jujubes look just like dates, and almost tastes like a date too, but they tend to be more wrinkly, and are the size of an olive. They're chewy, sweet, and provide a ton of health benefits. Some of these include improving insomnia, constipation, anxiety, blood pressure, and provides anti-oxidant and Vitamin C benefits. Read more on jujubes from Dr. Axe here!
I also snacked on organic Medjool dates throughout my pregnancy. As I got closer to my due date, I made sure I was eating six or more dates per day according to my naturopathic doctor's instructions. When I got tired of eating them individually, I added them to my smoothies and juices. I love the pitted dates and continue to snack on them to this day as it also benefits breastfeeding, so stocking up on dates is a win-win!
Red Raspberry Leaf Tea
I drank red raspberry leaf tea every night throughout my pregnancy and ramped it up in my last trimester, sipping on it regularly throughout the day.
Red raspberry leaf tea improves heart health, reproductive health, digestion, and inflammation. Read more on this amazing tea from Dr. Mercola here!
I recommend using loose leaf tea over tea bags for cost-saving and quality purposes. I personally think it tastes better in loose leaf form as it has a more earthy, robust flavor. If I could, I would plant and grow my own red raspberry leaves since this is a tea that I even drank often before pregnancy to help with my menstrual cycles! You can purchase it in bulk online, and it’ll last for months. Red raspberry leaf tea is also beneficial for postpartum recovery as it tones the uterus and enhances the milk supply.
Childbirth Classes
When I lived in New York, I found Avail, a free pregnancy resource center based in the city (but I'm sure they'd be virtually open to anyone now!). I took a few of their birth and labor classes and found it extremely helpful to learn what to expect while pregnant. They've continued to offer support virtually for me with a support person that I meet every couple of weeks and online parenting courses in the pandemic world. They are such a fantastic resource! They go beyond assisting pregnant women as they also focus on the relationship aspect and have male advocates for men.
I also took weekly classes with Mary Esther Malloy, doula, mindful birth educator and writer, and holistic birth advocate! She provides "an expansive, holistic approach to childbirth preparation, labor support, and parenting." Her in-person classes (NYC-based) were extremely informative and helpful in learning the birth process, birth poses, breathing techniques, and practicing for the real deal through group exercises and individual work. She moved her classes to zoom during the pandemic and it remained super engaging. I learned SO much from her holistic approach to childbirth and loved that it aligned with my views and lifestyle.
Prenatal Massages
I treated myself to prenatal massages, which help with blood flow as the body swells up. I often had Charlie horses in the middle of the night at 2 am! I felt like the massages helped reduce how often I experienced it. Massages also helped release back pressure as my belly became heavier. I'd recommend finding a massage therapist specializing in prenatal massages because there is a specific massage bed for pregnant women - it has a belly hole in the center!
Doula
In my third trimester back in Seattle, I found a birth doula I instantly connected with. Doulas are professionals who work in a hospital, home, or birth center setting to provide emotional and physical support before, during, and after giving birth. They are an amazing resource and a great support person to work with, especially to help you fulfill your birth vision. Trust me; you'd be happy to have a doula who can guide you through various poses while in labor and direct your partner on how to help you remain relaxed and focused. I wasn't sure if I needed or wanted one, but after experiencing birth with a doula as a first-time mama, I realized how helpful a doula is. Aside from helping you manage the pain, a doula will also vouch for you in moments of crisis, and be the logical person of reasoning when things don't go according to plan, or when the doctor is pushing to get a C-section or epidural (if giving birth at a hospital)! Plus, doulas usually have a lot of experience and can help navigate through bumpy roads.
India Posner was my doula. She was a source of inspiration, support, and my cheerleader. I discovered her through a college friend who recommended her services to me. I am so grateful for the connection because it turned out to be a wonderful partnership. When we first hopped on a FaceTime call together, I knew instantly from the cool vibes I felt that I wanted her to be my support person on the big day! We met a couple of times virtually and in-person to go over my birth plan, vision, and how I wanted her to support me in the process. She was super open and encouraged me to text her whenever I had any questions in my final weeks of pregnancy. She regularly checked in on me to see how I felt and provided me the extra support, like a friend or an extension of my midwives/naturopathic doctors. During the birth, she moved me through various breathing techniques and poses, and took the placenta for me to get encapsulated!
Chiropractor
Also, in Seattle, I went under the care of a chiropractor in my last trimester. I went to see him about three times a week. The sessions helped relieve back pressure and ensure proper alignment to promote smoother labor and childbirth. One of his specialties is in chiropractic pregnancy work, and I was thankful to have found him through a friend. I think chiropractic care is something that is super beneficial in general and is especially helpful during pregnancy with the right chiropractor!
Exercise
I exercised a lot throughout my pregnancy, from taking spin classes in NYC to walking up and down hills in Seattle for two hours every day during the start of the pandemic. I also practiced my yoga set and did pelvic stretches on the birthing ball to prepare that area!
Miles Circuit
The Miles Circuit is a series of poses (done on a yoga mat, stairs, couch, or bed) to help the baby "get into position" and promote smoother labor. I carved out about an hour each day to practice the Miles Circuit in my last trimester.
Videos/Documentaries
One of the birth centers I visited in Seattle provided a video that they put together. They filmed three new moms that were under their care. It was super informative and inspiring to watch moms go through a water birth! I was more eager and excited from this moment forward. I recommend googling or YouTubing videos even if it sounds scary because it's more knowledge you're equipped with going into the experience.
Membrane Sweeps
I worked with my holistic doctors in Seattle on a plan to encourage an early arrival because I didn't want to wait until baby girl's actual expected date. At my ND's office, we discussed natural options to induce labor, such as weekly membrane sweeps and taking a labor tincture. A membrane sweep helps open up the cervix by separating the water bag from the inside walls. I was super excited to start membrane sweeping because I wanted to speed up my labor and get the baby out! I went in for my first membrane sweep at week 38 and discovered that my cervix was 3 cm dilated. This news made me even more eager to get the ball rolling, so I had my second one at week 39 and then went into labor a couple of days later! During the membrane sweep, my doctor inserted one finger up and into my cervix area. The feeling of her finger moving around to "sweep" in there felt like one of those pap smear visits where they insert that uncomfortable metal device inside you. I still cringe when I think about those membrane sweeps because I hate pap smears and those cold, metal devices. Even though the few minutes of sweeping felt uncomfortable, I think this is a great way to get things moving!
Labor Tincture
The labor tincture, sold at my naturopathic doctor's office, is a blend of organic herbs - black cohosh, blue cohosh, ginger, and dong quai - used to prep the body for labor. This tincture was suggested for use during weeks 39-40. I started using the tincture shortly after my week 39 visit for my second membrane sweep. I added two full droppers to my raspberry leaf tea or added it to plain water each day, three times a day.
Praying, Writing, Visualizing
I prayed to God and wholeheartedly believed that my baby girl would make her grand debut early. I visualized my birth plan and her arrival. I wrote out a loose birth plan and mentally prepared myself by not planning out every detail to a T on how the birth would unfold. By creating a simple birth plan, I felt ready to tackle unseen obstacles, knowing that anything could happen during the process.
My Birth Plan
Get into my swimsuit and dress before leaving the house
Arrive at the birth center
Set up the speaker to play music from my "mindful birth playlist"
Light candles and diffusers
Sprinkle magnesium flakes in the tub
Have pictures taken with the polaroid
Have pictures and videos taken with my phone camera
Labor on the birthing ball and in various positions while snacking on mandarins and drinking coconut water
Labor in the tub last
Delay cord clamping
Save the placenta and store it in the freezer bag
Most of these steps actually didn’t happen, but it didn’t disappoint me because my experience turned out to be even more amazing than I expected!
The Big Day
April 3rd, 2020 unfolded like almost any other day of my last trimester. I expected labor to come any day then but didn't expect it to happen as quickly as it did. I was 39 weeks and two days. I made my red raspberry leaf tea and tincture combo with breakfast after waking up, hopped on my laptop to work, drove to see my chiropractor later in the morning, came back home to have lunch with my family and wrap up work, practiced the Miles Circuit and yoga in the afternoon, snacked on dates, and began my two-hour leisure walk. Midway into my walk, I started feeling some kind of contractions - I thought, could it be Braxton Hicks? I was on the phone with a friend at the time and mentioned that I was feeling a bit crampy, but didn't believe they were real contractions.
At five pm, I contacted my doula and midwives to let them know that I may be experiencing contractions but wasn't confident that they were real because they felt more like mild period cramps. I downloaded an app to start timing my contractions and seeing if there was a pattern. They suggested I contact them as soon as my contractions were coming at 4-5 minutes apart. They informed me of the 411 Rule - which is contractions every four minutes from the start of one to the next, with each contraction lasting one minute, and following this pattern for about an hour.
When I first timed my contractions, they were about 10 minutes apart. I still wasn't feeling a ton of pain, so I sat down for dinner with my family, and updated my doula and midwives. They suggested I eat a meal for the fuel and energy and meet during the active phase of my labor, at five minutes apart. They also told me that if my water broke before the 411, I'd need to go in right away to get a round of antibiotics for GBS (Group B Strep Infection is a bacterial infection that can be passed from mother to baby; I tested positive for this in one of my third-trimester tests). At this point, I was wondering when my water would break and imagined an overdramatic movie scene. Luckily, it wasn’t so dramatic. When my water finally did break around nine pm, it happened while I was standing in the restroom at the sink, and it just felt like a gush of water.
By eight minutes apart, I definitely felt the discomfort, to the point where I felt immobilized during the contractions. Also, at this point, I realized how quickly the minutes were ticking, so I contacted my midwives immediately and asked my doula to help me pack up my suitcase. She came over as I had just hopped out of the shower (it was a challenge showering because I had to stop moving every 6-8 minutes). I was flustered and anxious, realizing that I hardly left any time to do my makeup and hair (important priorities!). I rushed through, putting on my makeup, false lashes, swimsuit, and dress before getting out the door by 10:40 pm.
On the car ride to the birth center, I felt all sorts of emotions - nervous, excited, and curious - nervous to be there without family (due to the pandemic), excited to finally pop, and curious if I'd cry when seeing a baby in my arms. When I arrived at the birth center, my doctors immediately escorted me into the suite I chose. I was definitely in a lot of pain at this point as the contractions became stronger. They helped me get into a squatting position on a small stool and examined how dilated my cervix was. Those moments of examination were fuzzy, but I'm sure I was about 7-8 cm dilated because my contractions were becoming so intense, painful, and closer together that it became harder to focus and manage my breathing. My doula provided physical support and swayed back and forth with me, and helped me move through the contractions. When the pain became unbearable, I moved onto the bed to labor on my side. I knew it would slow down my labor in this position, so I gathered all of my strength and moved to the large tub of water.
The warmth of the water in the jaccuzi tub relaxed me between contractions and helped me remain focused on my breathing and pain management. I remember grabbing onto my doula as if I were hanging on for dear life. She fed me mandarin oranges between contractions and coconut water. She blasted fierce Beyonce music on replay. It wasn't my birthing playlist, but it was better than that - it gave me energy and inspiring vibes to keep me going. In these last few moments, before baby girl made her appearance, all I could think of was how strong mothers are and how our bodies are made for this.
I also felt waves of stillness wash over me, despite the active, intense contractions. In that final hour, I felt like it was just my baby and me - making this life transition together. The noises around me, my short bursts of screams, the hushed, soothing voices - they all seemed distant and apart from me. I was finally told to start pushing a little after one am. I suddenly became nervous and kept asking if I'd tear. The midwives instructed me to go slow and steady. In the moment of pushing, though, it was actually hard to go slow, and I felt as if I tore a big one (I later found out I only needed four stitches, so it was a moderate tear). What felt like a few seconds in those moments were probably about somewhere around 5-10 minutes. And just like that, I felt a warm little body in my arms.
April 4th, 2020. The long, laborious path to birth was over. The midwives gave us a few minutes alone as I soaked in that first moment of having my baby in my arms. I felt overwhelmed with joy and relief at the sight of a little human I'd just given birth to and admired her wrinkled, tiny body in the water. It was quiet - her cry hadn't yet overpowered the room because we didn't cut the cord immediately. One of the midwives called out a time of 1:18 am when we finally did cut the cord (although she really came out at 1:12 am). I was shown how to clamp her cord and felt so proud letting out her first cry. This moment was so special to me. I mean, how many mothers have the chance to clamp their own child's cord? It was one of the most beautiful moments in my entire birth journey and definitely not in my birth plan, so it came to be the best surprise ever. Her first cry almost made me cry; I was struck with emotions.
I was surprised to learn that I had only been laboring for two hours. Making it to 10 cm and finally pushing felt almost like an eternity to me. I expected to go into the birth center and come out the next morning, so I'd packed a suitcase with all of my toiletries, hair products, extra clothes, pajamas, a robe, etc. I practically needed none of it, but hey, birth plans don't always go according to plan!
I was helped out of the tub and moved over to the bed. As I got up, I saw the bloody mess I left behind, and, let's be real - I did defecate a little. On the bed, my doctor told me there was one more task left to do, which was to push out the placenta. Pushing out the placenta felt like a huge giant glob of something gushing out, and since I'd just given birth, I was already feeling a little numb from the whole experience, so anything I had to do after that hardly affected me. My doula took the placenta from the midwives and stored it in the freezer storage bag I brought for encapsulation later. My doctor stitched me up and examined my vaginal tears. Lying there as she sewed me up, I wondered what it looked like down there. I almost asked for a photo but decided against it to avoid traumatizing myself.
Me, Milana, and my doula, India!
Breastfeeding for the first time was awkward and hard. It was a struggle getting my whole nipple in and probably just as difficult of a learning curve for a newborn. When she was first placed on my chest, I went clueless even though I was taught all of the different breastfeeding positions in my childbirth classes. When we were finally helped into the right position, I nursed for 45 minutes while my doctors went over postpartum instructions, healing recommendations, and home visit procedures with me. To wrap up my eventful night/morning (3 am at this point!), they examined baby M, snapped a few photos, and off I went - with my brand new baby bundled up in the car seat on the way home!
I’m not going to lie, I was pretty darn adamant about never going through it again after giving birth. I wondered how my grandmother went through the pain of having six children, and I instantly felt a greater appreciation for my own mother. The birth story she'd tell me every year on my birthday immediately felt relatable. I couldn't help but share some bad jokes with my friends describing the pain (I referenced a scene from a horror movie). But a few months down the road, I somehow forgot this pain - probably due to momnesia(!) and holding the cutest little human in my arms.
My doula took my placenta for me and turned it into capsules (a service provided by a third-party). Another plus to having a doula!! My capsules came back with a sweet note with instructions. In my experience taking placenta capsules, I saw it do wonders after a month of taking it. I remember I missed a few days and I just didn’t feel as good overall as when I did take it. The placenta carries so much good stuff just like breastmilk, so knowing that, I would take it again if I were to have another baby!
Since giving birth, I've connected with so many new mamas on their birth journey, and I've loved hearing about their experience because each story is so unique and fascinating, whether their baby came according to plan or not. How would you describe childbirth, and did it go according to your birth plan?
